The Legacy Process: What Are You Leaving Undone?

The Legacy Process

We all know guys don’t talk about themselves right!? Generally speaking we’re pretty tight-lipped about our lives, our accomplishments, the stuff that we’re really good at, our failures, pretty much everything that our loved ones would love to know about us. 

I call this The World War II Survivor Syndrome; it’s like Private Ryan who, at the end of the movie Saving Private Ryan, wondered out loud to his wife, while they stood over the grave of Captain Miller who saved his life,  “was I a good man?”

But the Legacy Process is different than that, but not much. It’s a process where I interview, primarily guys but the same process applies to ladies as well. In this process I gently draw out of them their stories, the hurts, the challenges, the triumphs that they’ve gone through in their lives – the stuff that they’ve either been reluctant to talk about or didn’t have a clue how to do it.

This is the stuff we keep hidden inside for years, stuff that our families, our friends, wives, girlfriends, husbands, but especially our kids would love to know about.

As my buddy Pete, a fellow pilot who inspired me to create this process said when I interviewed him, “Yeah, sadly we lost a lot of people in my family. I wish that I had talked to my father about our family before he died, about our family tree, our history. There was so much that died with him. That made me realize that my family story needs to be recorded and left behind.”

Everybody has a story. And that story matters to our loved ones. Your story might just mean the world to your wife, your girlfriend, your kid who’s dying of loneliness inside to connect with you, maybe in this way by learning about you through your story.

 Why the Legacy Process?

I created this process for a few reasons but one of the main ones was because I was the kid in the old days who was told to “be seen and not heard.”

Now that’s pretty tough on a young kid so I holed up inside for a lot of years and didn’t come out for a long time. But when I did I realized that I had a story to tell. 

So the question is “who are you and why do you matter!?” You matter because none of us is alone in this world. You have loved ones who you may have shut out or they never got to really know you because you didn’t know how to tell them what’s inside.

The people who love you want to know who you are, they want to know all about your life. You owe it to them because when you made the commitment to them, to live with them, to marry them, to have them as your kids, part of that commitment was to, whether you knew it or not, let them inside and get to know you so your lives would be richer as a result.

Is it possible that you can live longer by telling your story?

Did you know that our hearts often attack us from the inside if we don’t express the feelings that are locked up inside?

They attack us too often because we keep so much stuff bottled up, unexpressed love, fear, grief, loneliness – you name it, if we don’t get it out, if we don’t talk about it the pressure builds up and without a pressure relief valve, in this case talking about it through the Legacy Process, things blow!

That’s how I see the legacy process, the story that you tell where we sit down together, in total confidentiality, and you talk, and I record. It’s been a long time in coming but I discovered I have a talent for helping people feel safe, especially guys. So the questions I ask about your life, about your accomplishments, about your failures don’t scare you or cause you to retreat further inside, but we actually get you to open up so your loved ones will finally know who you are, their husband, their father, their good friend, whoever is hiding out behind the silence, behind the fear of finally being yourself….

“Shining the light on ordinary heroes in our everyday adventures.”

Your story needs to be told. You say “my life isn’t interesting enough to talk about, it’s not special, besides who would be interested?”

But you’re wrong. If we took a survey of your family, you would find out they want to know much more about you than you can imagine.

This process is very special and when we start bringing you to the surface, you’ll be surprised how special it is – maybe in a way you never realized but especially to the people who love you and care about you. And who knows, talking about yourself, maybe for the first time ever, may very well add a few years to your life in the process!

If any of this sounds like it might be your time to do this but you’re hesitant, give me a call and let’s talk. We’re all put on this earth for a reason…your story could be your reason!

“Never underestimate the power of your story to change lives…often yours and those closest to you.”

Bert Botta